JOURNAL>

Feb 8th Journal updated.

By the way, I put a bunch of raw image galleries in the Gallery section, so be sure to check it out. I know you were tired of waiting!

M- Machinery Course, E- Electronics Course, N- Computer Engineering Course, T- Architecture Course, I- Interior Design Course

March 10th - The First Snow Of Spring and It's Not Sexual Harassment If They're Good Looking

Today is the worst day of the rest of your life, JUST KIDDING! Times, they are a-changin'. But will it ever stop snowing? Still, the winter's not as bad as I thought it would be. And I travelled the wide world for a few weekends. Nagoya, Tokyo, and staying at home and relaxing now. Where does the time go? School's out but I still have to go. I'll bring my laptop to get some updates done. I ate the poisonous blowfish fugu on friday. In fact I'm ok because I died years ago. It's how I can keep my fine figure!

February 24th -Recently Discovered Communication Abilities Allow Me To Understand My Job Entails 16 Year Olds To Talking About My Ass All Day Long

Yes, this one;s forthcoming...in the works...so enjoy what I have for now!

Oh, and it'll be about the senior exhibition and also about going to Nagoya this weekend.

February 8th - A Recession Market Economy Is No Excuse For a 400Y Offer on My Used Panties and 24 - 7 = 17 and Follow that Gakkuran!

Old ladies think I have an up nose and a small face. Well, in fact thats the general opinion, but schoolgirls and old ladies are the ones who point that out to me.In fact I showed an old lady my slime game on the train and she thought I was a university student, and Annissa too. Of course we agreed.

Tonight I pulled the gaijin card...well actually Hisayo did. We tried to go to an onsen in the Takayama resort hotel Hana ogi but they wanted to charge us 7000Y for a room rate just to use the onsen since they dont allow visitors. Well, Hisayo told them "She came all the way from America for your onsen! Please let her in, she's American!" And it worked! so we got in for 700Y each. Its kinda expensive but the place was so nice. big indoor bath, outside was a huge gorgeous bath with rocks and stone lanterns and paper umbrellas to keep the snow off. Hisayo and I were dancing with the umbrellas because we had the place to ourselves. Also I was eating snow and sitting in the super hot thermal part of the pool. Honestly hot springs are so great now in the winter! I didnt go in the summer but its too hot, but being nude outside when its snowing and not feeling the cold is pretty powerful feeling. You get an immunity to the cold for about 1-2 hours afterwards. Taking baths is like Hisayo and my hobby now. This culture is so great. As we were leaving about a dozen women my age came into the changing area wearing brightly colored yukata. How great it must be to have so many friends get together to relax. Eveyrone totes the idea of health spas in the US, but a spa would never cost 5$ for an entire day in a million years in the US. Well, and also people are too concerned about their bodies. Oh, and after I went to the massage chair and had that for about 45 minutes. Not as good as the heavenly chair at Eiden electronics(which feels like a person is inside it), but still fine, and free.

Tomorrow I have only 1 class, but its the class on my shitlist. The talked about me rudely in Japanese and my supervisor had to yell at them last time. 2nd year machinery too, which pisses me off because the other half of 2M is really nice and enthusiastic. Well, I guess they wont be like my 3M this year...Looking forward to 2E to fill in that role. Oh, and so I introduced that term to my supervisor. Here is what she said, "I went to the restroom and thought 'what did she mean...shitlist?' and then, I flushed." What am I gonna do without her next school year? Which by the way is in April.

Fun weekend in Tokyo! Finished school early on friday and went home to clean before Annissa came over. She's a Canadian Chinese kinky scientist english teacher. Actually put all my clothes away and organized most everything but my costumes. actually packed light for Tokyo, everything in one backpack again. But I had a whole totebags worth of stuff in Tokyo, at Carls apartment from when i stayed over christmas break, so i was doomed to come back with more things. Annissa arrived around 7 and we went to Gusto. I wanted to save money but the seafood pasta looked so good and I was really in the mood for shrimp. Oh also we bought strawberries and mikan to cover in chocolate to give to Daiki for Valentine's Day/Birthday. We made a mess and learned that chocolate melts in the hand better than in the double boiler. We ate whatever wouldnt fit in the gift box. Food of the gods! Who says fruit is expensive...well, its all relative. About a dozen decent sized strawberries costs 5$, kinda expensive, but 6-8 oranges, actually, bioengineered with mandarin oranges so the skin separates cleanly only costs 130Y which is a bit more than 1$. Isnt that cheaper even than in Florida? BUt these fruits are only in season in the winter. I eat about 4 or more a day, I swear. Well, with the lack of sunshine, Im sure the vitamin c will do me good.

Got up at 5:30am and took a taxi to the station and took the 6am bus to tokyo...I wore my battle royale uniform on the bus. I had taken Daiki's advice and bought a pair of loafers. Luckily I got them on sale for 500Y and more or less in my size, and also I had my BR2 knee socks. Also the new purse I got looks like a students plastic althletic bag sort of. ANyway I could pull off the total student look. Oh, So Annissa and I were on the bus, and Asensio was there too, a teacher from the next town. Also the usual assortment of young and old perverts. I went to get a drink at a rest stop and Asensio told me he heard one of the young japanese guys say I had a 'sugoi ketsu' which is an upgrade from the ii ketsu of my students. Sugoi ketsu is 'amazing ass' where ii ketsu is just nice ass. Ignorance is bliss? Oh no no no.

Well, I was starting to feel self-conscious because I passed some hooligan looking hip hop japanese guys when I was walking into the rest stop and they were looking at me and like...seemed like laughing...Im like, do I look like a total clown or what? do they recognize me from the movie or am I just the rare sight of a transfer student? Or am I just so damn HOT? Because of course I get such a swelled head from people calling me bijin and bijo and beppin all the time. Well, old men, and girls of all ages...but the young Japanese is pretty shy. Pretty DAMN shy. Yeah, go along in your little group and laugh, I know what youre thinking about later. You forgot I was a NINJA motherfuckah! My hearing transcends the language barrier!

Well, anyway. I was enjoying being a fake student on the bus. Annissa must be glad she likes to blend in(and in fact can because she's Asian) and I like to be the center of attention(and in fact can because Im Caucasian and a Psycho-Freak Cosplayer). Anyway, we arrived in Tokyo, parted ways with Asensio and met up with Daiki. We headed to his hometown of Ikebukuro to Sunshine city(yet again, the source of my discontent with Anime Expo Tokyo) well, it really is like a city, a huge shopping mall that goes on and on and up and down. Well, Daiki had read there was a gothic and lolita convention, so we went to go check out what the fuss was about. Turns out there was no fuss at all . The 'convention' turned out to be a single shop selling uninspiring cosplay items. We were hungry so we got Korean food. It was my first time to eat this kind of Korean food. It was rice in a metal bowl with various other foods in there and it was sooo delicious, and the bowl cooks the rice so the rice is kinda crispy and mmmmm, Im craving it now!

With full bellies we decided to investigate the Japanese used panty trade. I had heard that I could sell my used undies for well over 8000Y a pair. So, we walked to the seedy other side of Ikebukuro station using an underpass called 'WE Road' which in fact smelled like wee! Also there was some sort of Chinese voice ebing piped in over a loud speaker so I think Annissa could understand it. Well, I know she was having fun because we were constantly taunting Daiki about finding us a panty selling shop. Since we were on the other side of the tracks, I had the urge to find biker gangs also. WOw, The seedy culture of Japan is no match for me, I feel invincible. I move at right angles to this world. And if I thought I was invincible alone and looking like a tourist or a university student, I had my posse now. So what was a American transfer student, a chinese girl and a japanese schoolboy doing lurking around seedy ikebukuro? Well, we found some promising shops. Of course, because I am a foreigner and in my feeble brain cant understand anything, I can walk around pretty much freely until someone stops me anywhere, yakuza owned and/or operated, or not. Also, everyone likes to see the pretty genki blondie around, so at least you can looka t her while you try to explain what the hells going on in your uninteligible language. Also, I can always pretend I dont understand since thats what s expected of me. Moving right along, we found many promising shops, but, in the 11th hour, I could not bring myself to enter the spiraling staircases to doom down into the pit of the abyss. Honestly, its not so often I feel such true fear where my legs wont move another inch except in retreat, but I felt it then."Im scared" I said, in a small voice. Into the shadows, down, down, with no secondary retreat, far from the light of day. You have to wonder who shops here. None other than the devil himself, I'd wager.

And in Japan, there are many devils.

In point of fact, I remembered a shop behind Shibuya 109 in the Love Hotel Hill area which sold used underwear. We headed to Shibuya and in fact found this shop. And in fact they were advertising outside on a whiteboard that they were buying. What? A sign out front advertising they were buying? You must be asking "What kind of a country is this?" Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is Japan, the allegedly most technologically advanced society in the world, where generations of sexual repression has led to flagrantly homosexual schoolboys (no complaints) and not-so-clandestine fetishistic businessmen. But someone is fueling this, such as people who sell their used underwear to used underwear shops. And as-of-yet, i havent seen the much fabled underwear vending machines. This requires face to face interaction. So, plucking up our courage, we entered and let Daiki do the talking. It went something like this: I see youre buying undergarments. Yes, thats right. How much are you buying them for? Who's are they?ers. Where are they. In that purse. 400Y. Well, we got out of there right quick. 400Y is pretty crappy. You can buy a McDonald's value meal for 400Y. That'll show you for walking into one of those well lit and advertised and heavily trafficked chain panty shops.

And having such completed my social experiment, Annissa's practice in being devil's advocate and Daiki's lessons in embarrassment, we headed to greener and altogether stranger pastures in Harajuku, my religion, my friend. Walked around, shopped bought a crepe. Disappointing the pearl milk tea place is closed, but I found a shop in Akihabara that sells it. Anyway, same old for Harajuku. It was getting dark. We went to Ikebukuro to find a karaoke place. I practiced my fib about how I'm a transfer student from Saga Prefecture. My powers were growing. I can pass for 17. Milk it while it lasts. While in karaoke we realized that Annissa's cell phone was missing. Anyway our karaoke time was up so it worked out. We went to a bunch of arcades and places we had been, but to no avail. I had faith in the public transportation system, and indeed she had left it on the train and we needed to head to Akihabara to pick it up. So in Japan if you lose something you get a free ride to wherever it is to pick it up, that was pretty cool. Things in Akihabara were closing, but I managed to waste some money trying to win slimes in ufo catcher machines and we ate at Matsuya beef bowl, but none of the beef bowls have beef anymore, and soon no chicken, because they stopped importing American beef and soon chicken, and the stocks ran out. Now pork is our only option. Well, not my option, because I live in a beef producing area, but in the cities I guess. Beef bowl is so much better than Mcdonalds.

After that, we went to Shinagawa station to catch the traint o Carl's apartment. I resisted the residual temptation to head to Kabuki-cho Shinjuku to sell my undergarments in more lucrative places and apply for my part time job as a Yakuza's wife. On the train to Carl's city, some drunken obnoxious military guys with whorish drunken Japanese women entered. They were undoubtedly from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk, the most infamous assignment where the majority of Tokyo's foriegn asshole population is berthed. The one was singing 'I have the biggest dick in the world!' at the top of his lungs. It was really embarrassing. Military have no idea about train etiquette and I hate to be associated with them by being foriegn. But I was wearing a school uniform so I did escape the Japanese stereotype of tourist/english teacher/'hostess'. But I also learned that when blonde haired blue eyed girls wear jackets with ties they look like Indiana Jones Nazis. So he called me a freaky bitch on his way out of the train. Yeah, Im glad thats protecting my country's interests overseas. If you could see how the military acts here in public, you would lower your eyes and shake your head. It's no surprise they rape 12 year olds routinely here. How many incidences do you suppose arent made public?

We got back to Carl's and watched Equilibrium and ate icecream. Good to have that Edy's premium again. Carl's place is so nice, it's worth going all the way out to Yokosuka-chuo for. Well, it's not worth getting annoyed by military guys, but theres no such thing as a free lunch after all. The next day we went to Akihabara for lunch at the maid cafe and high tailed it over to Shinjuku to put our luggage in a locker by the bus station, and went to Harajuku for some Sunday afternoon cosplay. I was pretty popular. I had the style down. Oh, and this quote was overheard. "Wow, those Germans are really good!" See, what did I TELL you about aryan looking girls wearing ties. Shopped a bit, then took the train back to the bus station and back to Takayama.

While in Love hotel hill, I invented a song. This is the Gakuran song:

Gakuran! Follow that Gakuran! They're coming round the corner, they're coming in the corner of my mind....Gakuran!

Here and Here are pictures of me singing the theme song.

As you know, Gakuran are the Prussian style military uniforms all middle school and some high school boys(not mine) wear. Well, I invented a TV show where I would Follow that Gakuran, that is, I would spot some schoolboys wearing gakuran and proceed to follow them to wherever they were going such as karaoke. This would be much like the time I was at karaoke and I saw my students and busted in and sang Linkin Park. Also it involves me dressed like a transfer student so they can know my place in society. I can follow my marks anywhere, manga shops, internet cafes, trains, love hotels, doko demo ii. The FOllow that Gakuran song is a craze sweeping through Takayama now. It's a muti-purpose cong and can be used to break the ice. There's a dance too, I taught Hiomo. It's rather Broadway style, and the tune is sort of 'Hollywood'.

February 4th - No Cure For The Common Cold? and The Best Of All Possible Worlds and Ice Levels Still Suck

Geez, looks like I tried to catch you all up on the 21st but I failed miserably. Started teaching again in Takayama, lots of fun anecdotes like in the class where a girl was squealing because there was skin on her desk. my supervisor looked at it and brushed it away with her hand. When the girl kept squealing, Matsuda collected it into her hand and threw it into the girls lap. That was pretty funny. Thats the class with my cleaning boys and S& M boy who I started calling SM boy when referring to him in front of him. and other teachers. He asked for it. Theyre a bunch of perverts and they make it too easy for me to make fun of them, Like SM boy got his name when he said 'Are you SM? I am S!' and I replied 'good luck!' in japanese. the whole class laughed at him. like today when I said I like to sing Linda Linda and one boy said 'Chinko Chinko' which means 'penis penis'and I said , 'no you like to sing that' and then the class laughed at him. Seriously why cant anyone come with a quick comeback at me, Im not that clever. Oh, and now that I can udnerstand some Japanese, the comments never cease. Like, I was walking around checking work and I hear 'ii ketsu' which means 'nice ass' well, cant say Im insulted if 18 yer olds think I have a nice ass, but think of how much more enriching this experience will be!

Soon after arrviing back in Japan, I had planned to go to Anime Expo Tokyo. as in 4 days later. Also I had to contend with a TV show that wanted to film the amazing madcap life of the foreigner cosplaying, and tired to get permission to film me in school which I was against from the start, all while Im trying to recontract. The guy came to Takayama bus station to film my friends and I at 6 in the morning on saturday. It was pretty weird. Then they filmed me on the train...it was sort of like it would have been cool except I wasnt getting paid and I was pretty stressed out about going into the dumb competion. It was trying to be US style Anime convention so it had a competiton. I should have learned my lesson, theyre always a huge waste of time. So I had to get dressed into my costume, then go to this long ass meeting, then get whisked away to some location by taxi to do this interview thing for the TV show, then come back and waist around some more for the competiton. I SHOULD have known better. My friends had to walk around all day without me. I was so sorry about this. At least Erica who came all the way from Aomori entered with me, but I feel so bad I convinced her to enter. We all had Battle Royale costumes and it would have been so much better to just play around and pose in those. Dammit...this day makes me pissed off that I wasted all this time and energy and got mega stressed out. Neither of us won in the costume contest either. Not that it would have mattered. Jan and Annissa and Daiki and Sunny got to hang out sans Dawn and Erica. ARGH. After all that bullcrap, we decided against getting a hotel and stuck to the original plan of going to Carl's place. We went to a game center for a bit but Daiki got us thrown out...not really, but we had to leave because he's a student and he wore his school uniform and students arent allowed in game centers after 9 I guess. Stupid law, Anyway, I had a big cloud over my head and I hoped people would forgive me. Anyway, I never want to read this paragraph again. This convention was sub-par. This day was sub-par. And Id been up since 6am. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

We took the train to Carls and things got better. Oh, Annissa is Canadian but of Chinese descent so she confused one military guy very much when he started to talk to her and she spoke back in perfect English. "wow, You have almost no accent!' She's a smart cookie so she posed him difficult life questions and let him talk about himself. We got to Carls and could relax. I was happy to see him again before he had to take the slow boat to China and sail the 7 seas again. In the morning we set out to meet Daiki and go shopping around Shinjuku and Harajuku. We went to O1One and I got a pair of shoes I wanted for a long time and a purse which has tv images when you turn it one was and cicuitboards when you turn it the other. Also I had fun convincing Carl to buy things again. Considering last time he bought 3 Gaultier wallets and promptly lost 2 of them in his apartment never to be found again, the necessities are always more than necessary. This day was much better than the day before, even though we had a bit of a time schedule since the bus, as usual, was at 4pm. Around 1 we went to Harajuku and waited for a while for some pizza which was great and found out the pearl milk tea shop was gone. That sucked really bad. Im sure theres another one around though soemwhere, Also we had cheesecake crepes. We couldnt meet up with Erica and Sunny though. They went to the convention for another day. Jan and Annissa and I were enjoying the beautiful people of Harajuku and then we had to leave. We went to Shinjuku and took the bus on the long ride home. We learned to make funny equations using the icons on our cellphones.

More school, another day, another 100 yen, right? more like 10000 Yen. they make it worth my while to be called a superbitch in class. Wow, many people are callin gme a bitch in classes and the hallway. Could it be the fact that I showed them all that southpark christmas special? why no, they learned all this from Eminem.

I feel like there were a lot of funny things that happened but thats what happens when you dont keep up with the journal, right? they get lost.

I played soccer with 3rd year computer engineering. It was in the snow so even though Im no good at soccer, no one's good at soccer with this situation. I missed some shots, the star players missed shots. Its all good. We practiced some flowery english. I helped the cutest boy in the school(in my heart anyway) out of the snow. It was like a cartoon. Thank you dreams, dream on. After he graduates, I'll never see him again, and thats that. But, he will live on in infamy on the front page of my website. For a while, anyway.

I made chocolate covered strawberries for early valentines for the elective english seniors. In japan the girls give the guys chocolate on v-day. Its on white day that the favor is returned a month later. Well, this isnt going to be returned to me, but I did gain some brownie points at the office by making the strawberries for everyone in the staffroom too!

Oh I simply must get ready for bed now. I need to fill in a lot of details that I just realized I outlined in the entry below! yes! less grappling for the path down memory lane!

~ ~ ~

Hello new readers!

I teach at a mostly all boys technical high school (500 boys, 30 girls) in Takayama City, Japan. Behavioral and Sexuality issues abound! The 18 year old seniors pinch eachother's nipples through their uniforms until one screams. In class. And this is only the beginning.

"As soon as he puts on his pants, we can begin class! "

--Matsuda, Supervisor

January 21st - A Tall Man Is Hard To Find and The Best Of All Possible Worlds

Took the plane back to Nagoya , geez, Im so behind in this journal, because so much happens to me in a week. Guess I better start with today? I keep promising and I never deliver. Motivation! I need it! But Im not gonna finish this tonight because Im playing Final Fantasy X-2 and then off to sleep. This weekend I can recount to you my trip back to Takayama, school stuff like telling my vacation schedule about 15 times, seeing an ass in senior machinery class, all about family member vocabulary, paper airplanes and orange peels flying, bending teachers to my will, the sub-par anime expo tokyo, more harajuku as usual, seeing things anew and with renewed vigor, adjusting to freezing temperatures (and the metric system!), playing soccer in the snow, teaching useful english whilst playing soccer in the snow, girls non academic high school fashion show, meeting boys who wanna be tough but who's school puts on fashion shows, and more wacky late night madness at izakayas and seeing gaggles of philipino transexuals. All this and more. Oh, I found these images of the school uniform I bought. here and here .This explains the coolness factor and how it's not just the symbol of restriction to school life for many a student, it's also a trendy fashion point!

January 14th - Sensei-tional and My Car Is Stuck In Reverse Culture Shock and I Left My Heart In Japan-Francisco

So on the 3rd I had a lot of fun with Daiki even tho I had no more money. Those atms close to bank transfers apparently between dec 31 and jan 3rd. Luckily I was able to get money on the morning of th 4th, and then I headed to the airport. I guess it's only natural in a world where a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step that a journey of 7 thousand miles should begin with a 2 hour train ride to the airport. The international flights are never going to be convenient to me in Japan, despite the fact that New Tokyo International Airport (Narita) has Tokyo in the title, it's not actually in Tokyo. I rode the train and got to the airport with 3 hours to spare, security and immigration and then had about a 2 hour wait. I was determined to steal power with which to charge my cellphone, so I went a-searching and happened upon other young souls who had a smilar idea in mind. I met an American guy my age who was a air force broadcaster and on his way to Korea, so we chatted about wrestling and video games and then I boarded the plane.

I have to admit that I'm just not feeling the same type of anxiety I used to feel before flying international, and I guess thats just as well because flying international will become if it hasnt already, a bit routine. I've been in Japan for 6 months, I've never been out of the country this long, the most being 3 weeks the last time I came to Japan 2 years ago. So it's no wonder that this place is starting to feel like home, albeit a home where Im flattered constantly and I cant understand the language at most any conversational level. The flight went as most flights do, and I meant to type this entire journal up til that point on the plane, but my battery mysteriously died after 2 hours and my extra battery was mysteriously not charged(an in fact somehow lost the ability to do so). I proceeded to get drunk and watched an anime on the screen called Millenium Actress, it was really good and made me cry. Midway through the flight the captain announced we had some operational difficulties and would have to land in Minneapolis-St Paul instead of Detroit. And not to be alarmed by the emergency crews on the ground. What every international traveller with a frazzled brain wants to hear. I laughed at the irony of it all, and entertained myself with thoughts that my last meal would be airline food. I learned that the plane had lost some hydraulics and heard the stewardess say to someone 'Sir, you need to put your seat up, you dont want to miss this landing. ' I turned around in my seat to look at her and she looked at me and said 'That's one way to put it...' you see, most of the passengers were Japanese or Korean, and all the translations came over the intercom about 5 minutes after the English. So, all the american passengers were freaking out and then all the asian passengers were freaking out. Finally, and after much tension we landed a safe but extremely ...swervy landing. The plane was towed to the gate and we all had to be rerouted to our destinations. Being a citizen I got through immigration and customs in the first wave, and still had to wait for about 45 minutes in line to get rerouted. Im convinced that my Louis Vuitton handbag (which is so not me, but I was going to Boca afterall) secured me 1st class seats, but they damn well should have given me first class seats after all this. It was a rerouting nightmare in there. The people who needed to go to Detroit had to wait until the next day to get a flight. By hook or by crook, come hell or high water I was going to get to Miami that night, I was only staying in Florida for a week. I got through rechecking my luggage and security and called home and got back on the plane.

My first voyage in first class. I sat next to a investment banker and thats something about first class, you have a chat naturally with the person youre sitting next to. I ate prime rib and chocolate cake and they even give you a choice of dark or light roll. The seats are all cushy and you get so much leg room ,they arent kidding. But, I couldnt sleep yet because I was chatting. Then I realized that my connecting flight was going to be 15 minutes after I landed. And the rude-ass person at the gate wouldnt even call the other gate for me. Who did he think he was, I was a first class passenger! After a mad and athsma provoking dash I'd prefer to forget in Houston Airport, I made it to the gate. My ticket had no seat number and it was a different airline. Continental instead of Northwest. Confusion. Well, you can sit in 1st class. YES. I sat next to a graphic design exec from Miami who commutes every weekend to Phoenix. I had 2 bailey's on the rocks and fell asleep for an hour, and didnt know where I was when I woke up in a cold sweat. I had been awake for 42 hours. The plane landed and I walked quite a ways and met my dad and learned my luggage was still in houston. It occurred to me that would happen, because I was wondering if my luggage was making the same mad dash that I was. We got to my dad's condo and I took a delicious shower and laughed while I lay in bed because I couldnt believe I had actually made it there finally. I slept from 2am until after 1pm when Timb came in and woke me up. I probably would have slept an entire day. In fact, while I was there sleeping was the problem. I got tired very early and slept at least 10-12 hours every day. Maybe it was the fact that I didnt have to be there, and maybe it was the fact that I rarely sleep more that 5-7 hours even on weekends because I'm always going somewhere in the morning and staying up late. Although I like to consider sitting on the computer and typing at night as sleep time.

But I'd like to be overly dramatic and pretend it was reverse culture shock . Saying it was weird to be home was an understatement. I left the world of seasonal changes and came to Florida, land of eternal summer and stagnation. I cant understand how people are so rude in a place so warm. I cant say how I'll ever move to New York for graduate school. And America is pretty obese. The studies are true! Plus I was short again. Well, at 5'7" Im not short, but now I wasnt the average male height either. Of course it was great to see my family, my friends and my dog, but as they say, home is where your stuff is. It was weird to be around so many non japanese people again, and I kept saying 'it's weird to be around so many foriengers' ...I guess you really start to feel like that, You start to identify with being a foriegner and think of yourself that way. I liked to eat lots of bbq when I was home, and we had a large italian family dinner. And I got a birthday day cake too. My dad took me shopping a few times and I got new clothes for work and 4 pairs of shoes. And also a flashy classy dress for those nights on the town in Tokyo. Anyway, I was feeling culture shocked. I missed the frivolity of Japanese fashion. I missed the beautiful people in their layered street fashion and spikey hair and pointy features, I missed punk rockers with designer handbags. I also missed my surreal world of naughty schoolboys. I could say I had a normal job, 'Im a high school English teacher' I would say, but a high school english teacher in the Japanese countryside at a school which was like somehting from a comic book. Anyway, I missed my family and friends. I wished I could have them around me and still live my life here. Of course the internet brings us all closer together, but not the same, never the same.

On thursday we had a crossdressing themed bbq. I was limited for apparel but I wore my Kiriyama schoolboy uniform. Gotta love my friends, they didnt ask why it was a crossdressing themed party...well, neither did I for that matter. We were going to show Hedwig and the angry Inch and Velvet Goldmine, but people wanted action, so we watched Equilibrium and Battle Royale, which have nothing to do with crossdressing whatsoever.

I went to a fetish party on friday, like old times. I wore part of my Castlevania costume with a vinyl catsuit and corset under the jacket instead of the shirt and armor. 2 people could tell I was from Castlevania tho, that was pretty cool. Saw a lot of old friends and got called the best dressed person a lot. You know the love-hate relationship I have with that. I like the challenge in Japan but it's also a no-contest here since Im really a foreign supermodel.

Karaoke on Saturday in a Korean restaurant in Fort Lauderdale. It was Japanese style. We got a private room and 20 people showed up. We stayed for 3 hours. There wasnt a very big selection of English songs, but we tore it up. I was fading fast tho, and I had to get up at 6:30 am for my 9:40 flight. They had the right idea tho by feeding me alcohol near the end, and then I didnt care. I had somehting with a disgusting consistency that seemed like baileys and grenadine. The title had something to do with a brain. ANd it looked like a brain and I guess since Im used to eating raw oysters and squid it's not a big deal now.

I'll come back in the end of April...Next time I think I can fly international business class. wont that be amazing? I really miss having my relationship here. Long distance is so hard and frustrating. I'm being psychicly attacked by the minds of hundreds of horny schoolboys all day long. I mean, of course it's the best kind of ESP anyway.

Im glad I went back, I got to spend time with my ever-loving mom and sister a lot too, and seeing family is nice always. But I cant say Florida feels more like home than Japan. Home is where your stuff is anyway. And people can move around all over gods green earth, I guess home is just wherever you stop the longest.

January 4th- A Fool And His Money Are Easily Parted and If We Forget Our Past, We Are Doomed to Wear It As A Costume and Into The Arms Of America

And so, I recovered grandly from the weekend of drinking and Immigrations frustrations, and finished up my last halfday at work. I wandered around the school on the 24th to show my gleaming face around and took picture of the snow. Ugh, the snow. Lets pretend we're so romantic and dont have to drive through it. Well, I drove into a snowbank up my hill and was happy I didnt so much as dent my car, but I think Im going to stop worrying about it. Ive gotten my car stuck in snow like 3 times already, and I know itll get worse...well, I mastered the art of backing into the car port, so score a point for me. First of all I cant even back into a normal parking space and second of all I own a too wide for Japan station wagon, so maybe it was a fluke, but at least the fluke landed when I wasnt going to be home for 2 weeks. I traveled on that weary road back to Tokyo. I arrived around 9 and Carl met me and we went back to his apt and has Christmas dinner which he made and was so delicious. I never cook more than spaghetti, so having different dishes was a delight. Grilled pork and apple cinnamon glaze and sweet potato pancakes for my Hanukkah celebrating self. In the morning there was food too, and then we saw The Last Samurai. Tom Cruise, you know I love him. Im all about those historical dramas as well. Plus I have a special place in my heart for the Japanese countryside, which is most likely because I live there. Also, I actually found the shoes I needed for my Kiriyama costume and in my side to boot...hahahhaha to boot. Carls friend Alicia came over and we had steak and more food, a sweet potato and nutmeg soup was out of this world.

I was finishing working on my Casltevania costume. This was all for Comiket - Comiket Market at Tokyo Big Sight. Anyway, I wasnt finished so I planned to be all battle Royale at the first day of comiket. I met my friend Amano at Shinegawa station and we went to the convention center around 9, and waited in line for about an hour for the doors to open(this is inevitable, attendance is about 100,000 people a day, and for once Im not exaggerating). We went in and I got changed, probably the only foreigner as usual. How surprising is it that with the popularity of The Prince Of Tennis and Shin Megami Tensei and various other school themed media that more than a few of my female compatriots were dressing like schoolboy characters as well. Werent we the hot hot shit on the low low table? This is Japan ladies and gents, androgyny reigns supreme. So now I am a Bijin and a Bijo, beautiful person and beautiful woman. EIther I couldnt understand it before and therefore never heard it, or I am reaching my majestic ripened beautiful state, or am just sexually frustrated enough to be glowing white like a supernova at this point, but I heard it a damn lot while I was in Tokyo, instead of the usual 'Look, a foreigner'. Where was I? Oh yeah...So the universal axiom applies that evil is seductive and sexy and I was dressed like Kiriyama the psychopathic evil homicidal maniac of Battle Royale sans sub-machine gun as per Comiket rules, and was roundeyed and pale like a drawing in a comic. And female underneath the gakuseifuku. Man, was I sexy, as I always say, I get all the chicks. Heh, so as I said, as soon as I came out of the dressing room area girls ran up to take my picture. And I was afraid no one would recognize me.

I got outside to the cosplay area and was happy to see some other Battle Royale cosplayers, what a photo op. I should have walked around with them, Aruete Ishoni but some old guys started talking to me about cosplaying as the director of BR Kinji Funasaka and some other stuff. Anyway, Im so nice so I always talk to everyone. Plus Im covered in fake blood, I can be friendly.

Theres so many people in the cosplay area, its hard to find people again. Tons of some sort of gothic manga cosplay and Prince of Tennis, and Five Star Stories. And of course many school girls and french maid girls and what not. You know Japan is the most legally pedophiliac 1st world country in the world besides the US..hmm, wait a minute. And anyway the legal age of consent here is like 15. Do you realize that since I moved here, I havent had my ass grabbed on the train? WHen I visited 2 years ago it was grabbed 3 times. This means Im old meat I guess, Not that Im too insulted or anything. So anyway, I was having fun being evil evil Kiriyama Kazuo-kun and getting pictures taken, And hearing gaijin....seifuku....ehhhhhhh????...ooooh, Battle Royale...but cosplay at comiket is so brief,and by 3pm you must change. I went down to look at the doujinshi, always a dangerous matter. I bought a Suikoden 3 dojin, before escaping. I dont have the money this month to go nuts like usual, and I had already bought Shadow Hearts 2 calendar from the Aruze company booth.

So, I was feeling pretty good about that costume, but Carl pushed me to finish my Castlevania one which I was getting cold feet about. He came to comiket the next day. I brought my Castlevania costume and went to change. Theres no mirrors in the changing room, I wasnt sure how to feel about it, but I know I look pretty much just like that character, so I was ok. Anyway, people started running up to me. Of course as per comiket rules I couldnt have my whip, but nonetheless those posters from the new castlevania up all over the game stores probably helped, and Ihad a neverending stream of people running up wanting to take my picture. It was awesome. Also, it was always a full body shot and a bust up shot, because even tho I had to squint into the sun for well on a half hour at a time, lets get pictures of those blue blue eyes. And I got called bijin a whole lot. I was feeling pretty damn good about wearing the same costume the next day. Wasnt planning on it, but I decided to go for it. Same reactions the next day, except I had to pose for an hour at a time. Ate breakfast on the line and brought onigiri rice balls with me so I wouldnt have to stop for lunch. Tons of pictures, got a dozen business cards, and I had printed out my own the night before. I was so happy to see Shadow Hearts cosplay.

I noticed there was an exhorbitant of Nazi and SS cosplay on the 28th. I dont know why. Every day I saw some. How offensive is that? Anyway, wasnt there a twilight zone ...or was it in Fahrenheit 451 where the wacky Nazi guard gets tricked by those clever Jewish prisoners in every episode of some ironic Holocaust comedy? Ok, I know which side the Japanese were technically on during WW2, and I know how racially superior the attitude here is, but theres no accounting for bad taste. On the other side of the coin, the hilarious amount of hardcore homosexual nazi porno comics there are is staggering. I cant explain it. I got a 'Look at this guy' kinda picture, I'll have to post that one. Considering I went on a tour of 4 concentration camp sites in Poland at the tender age of 16, and thought I was emotionally scarred for life, its a wonder I can look upon this in such a sarcastic and objective manner. That which does not kill us, makes us stranger. Where did I hear that? I cant even recall. Must have been something disgusting tho...oh yeah, I know...It was an Aeon Flux episode concerning government enforced amputation and border control.

New Years Eve day, met with Erica, a JET up in Aomori and her boyfriend Sunil. We went to Akihabara and found out the maid cafe was closed, so we went to a coffee shop. I got called a bijin again. by some random guys. Its refreshing to hear something other that gaijin. Like, yes, I know Im a foreigner, and yes, I can understand you. Walked around and shopped for anime and LED lights, found a great shop near the station. I want to put some led settings into my ears if I know I wont electrocute myself. Only one was to find out! Anyway, when I have more money to blow. As it was, Im glad I had for 10000Y(100$)outside the 100Y store the other day. I have this month all budgeted out for my trip to Florida. Still, Iwhipped through that money PDQ and needed more by the 2nd, only to discover that no cash machines would accept my central Japan region bank card, as from Dec 31 - Jan 3 banks are either closed or not doing wire services.

Back to New Years, I was meeting Amano at 10pm in Harajuku, so I went there around 6, bought some festival food from stands Takayama style, and went to a coffeeshop on Takeshita Dori and loitered upstairs for 3 hours. Amazing that 200Y can get you a place to relax for 3 hours, but more on that later. No one spoke to me, so I played my Slime Game for game boy advance and drew a comic about how my students act. Then I went back to the station and waited at Meijijingu Shrine for an hour and a half. We waited in the courtyard of the shrine, which is the most holy in Tokyo.I dont know why its the most holy, but 2.2 million people apparently showed up for the first prayers of the new year there. Luckily I was in the front of the line. At midnight big drums were drummed and everyone shouted OMEDETOU! Then we were released up in waves to throw 5 yen coins at the shrine. Some people chucked handfuls of coins, and then it was over. I got some chicken yakitori and headed to Shinagawa to get a train home, but as it was no trains were runnign int hat direction and many military poeple were stranded, and me along with them. I rode the Yamanote circle line around and around for 3 hours and slept, another cheap way to relax for 200Y. Finally, it was 5am and I went back to the Kekyuu line to go home. I had the white arrow of protection I had bought at the shrine for the new year with me, and it was the cause of much conversation and English practicing while I was trying to sleep on the train. While I waited for the keikyuu limited express, 2 cute college guys commented on the arrow and I talked to them in Japanese and then we switched to English and sat down on the train and chatted. YES, I am so happy when they arent so shy. It was going so well, but then they had to run off because they had meant to take the Haneda airport train but I had distracted them with my wily ways and cunning wit. Didnt even get an email. meh, the live action English practicing billboard is here folks.

The day of the first I decided I needed more friends in Tokyo and all over. Japan, so I signed up for a penpal advertisement on japan-guide.com The responses were overwhelming. On the 2nd I went to the Imperial Palace to see the Emperor wave. Its funny, Ive never even even any US president in person, but Ive been about 60 feet away from the King of Japan. Funny I thought he was supposed to be a god, but him and his family were behind bullet proof glass. We all waved the Japanese flag and shouted BANZAI.

On the 3rd I met up with Daiki, a punk rock schoolboy whos about to major in International Relations. Sounds familiar, ne? We walked around his hometown of Ikebukuro, karaoke and video games and print club and shopping,and I still couldnt get any money from my bank account. I was so upset because the P'Parco had 50% off h Naoto stuff. MY LUCK.

to be continued...

Dismember 22nd - Shamelessly Looking At Boys While Being Hauled Off By Immigration and Ice Levels Suck

So today I went to Toyama for my reentry permit and it would have been a nightmare if I got stressed out about things I cant change. Well, in fact I have too much pride, I often get stressed out about things I cant change..in fact more stressed out. well, lets not split hairs. So I got up about 9 and took the 10am train up to Toyama, in fact it was a local so I rode halfway there on a normal sized train, and one of my 1st year male students actually sat next to me, I was amazed. You can never tell if theyll run away or laugh at you or actually say hi. The seniors invariably say hi, and love to show off their non-academic HS girlfriends. By the way, I showed him some incriminating photos of teachers from the bonenkai which you'll read about in a few paragraphs, Then I switched trains in a podunk town called Inotani or soemthing. The train is called a 'oneman' in katakana and it's basically 2 cars with a driver. It was the rainbow array of old people and school uniforms, and I have to say that Toyama Nishi High School's students were even sloppier than mine. Anyway, I finally got to Toyama at noon and found the Immigration office, got my reentry permit, and was about to head back to the station when lo-and-behold was Animate, the amazing chain anime store (we'll go there in Akihabara). I spent about an hour shopping for presents and then headed to McDonalds and realized I hadnt seen very many schoolgirls but the city was chock full of boys. It was then I remembered reading in the Daily Yoimuri that the sub-arctic temperatures had caused every schoolgirl in the Chubu regions's legs to snap off below the hemline, which is why they wouldnt be seen until such ligaments and capillaries could be reattatched. I was waiting for my train at the platform when I got a call in Japanese. It was Immigration . They had made a mistake and wanted me to come back. But my train! I said. It will be here in 10 minutes! Well, they said, you must come back. So I was very stubborn and a foreigner, so the caller said he would come meet me at the platform. I entertained fantasies in my mind about me, the sole foriegner on the platform that day, the envy and every desire of each 17 and 70 year old that crossed my exotic foreign path, being surrounded by leather trenchcoat clad Immigrations officials with the little hat and the little pin with wings and the mean looks, and handed a pen with a calfskin-bound hand and with the hand of another, a clipboard and told to give a signature that should have been so conveniently and secretly forged 3 kilometers away on the second floor of an anonymous office building. But no, it was a small sad and lonely man--but in the trenchcoat!--who took me back to the office by taxi, copied my passport, changed some stamp or other, and took me back to the station by taxi, and bought me a ticket upgrade for the express train that would leave 2 hours from now. Well, boy was his bow low.
I decided i didnt want to wait 2 hours for a ride that would take 30 minutes less. So, I hopped on the next oneman back to Takayama. I didnt get home until 6:30. There went the day! But you know, you cant mess with Immigration. They OWN you.

So back to the middle of the week, I was just waiting for the week to end. I showed South Park's Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo well on a dozen times in class. I think I was singing the 'Kyle's mom is a bitch' song in my sleep. Still, its pretty cool how I can spread my glorious culture by saying how we allow words such as 'bitch, hell, and bastard' on network television. And how I can teach about the spirits of both Hannukah and Christmas with a singing piece of feces that comes out of the toilet. Well, the great thing about teaching at a boys school is knowing that the old adage 'slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails, thats what little boys are made of' holds true. My sexy sexy senior computer engineering class never lets me down, they can read fast enough to get all the jokes in the subtitles. However, some of the translation was pretty off. For example "stupid wop dago" or however you spell it had subtitles which meant 'stupid woman'. Well, who knows?

We had heavy snow on Friday. In fact by nightfall it had turned into a blizzard the likes of which I will see time and time again. In typical Japanese fashion the seasons changed within 2 days. The roads were covered in snow, and while walking with the snow is rather beautiful, walking into the snow just pisses you off. Of course, I was driving in heavy snow for the first time in my life. Driving in snow isnt much different that driving in torrential rain; a lot of the same rules apply. However, you dont need to dig yourself out of rain. I had promised myself I would buy a Japanese style boys school uniform once I got paid for my Battle Royale Kiriyama costume, and by hook or by crook I would get that uniform, blizzard or no. I drove to the uniform shop on Honmachi, and now you need to understand that it's pretty strange that I went to buy a school uniform from a family run shop in a town where I'm a teacher. In a blizzard. But, I gathered up all my courage(and my knowledge of metric sizes) and walked inside. The transaction went something like this. "I want this"..."Males?!?..."Yes, how much?" ..."ehhhhhhhummmmmm" ..."how much?" ..."ehhhhhhhh the set?"..."yes, everything"...<runs back to the owner> "20,000Y"... "Alright, I want it, please." "what size?" <clever me I figured out sizes in centimeters > "pants size 70" "And the jacket...about your height?" "uuuuh, yeah...about my height" You see, jackets here are apparently sized by height since everyone has the same frame? Anyway, much like a man buying a bra at victoria's secret , I ran chuckling into the night at how easy it all was. But still, pretty embarrassing. Even more so when I discovered the jacket was a bit big and I'd need to exchange it. Why?? I called to the heavens, but to no avail. The god of crossdressing was silent and so I would have to return. I pondered the options of getting it tailored elsewhere, but this was rediculous. And in fact, I think at the shop they thought I had a son who went to a local high school. More on that later...

So at 6pm I went to the Hida Hotel for the bonenkai, or holiday party with my school. It was a very formal affair where everyone sat in rows and ate sushi and other japanese style food with beer and sake and the whole point is to get drunk. I parked my car and when I went in fom the cold night 2 hot guys my own age bowed to me and I wished I could party with the likes of them instead of teachers from my school. In fact of course I'd rather party with the students instead also. Oh, more on my curse later. I mean, I like having these drinking bouts with the teachers, but only because they work at my awesome school. Well, they do work at my awesome school, so it stands as a testament to our sexual frustratration when a sumo performance was held on stage. But not just any. Teachers (Skinny people Including Tachi, the 26 year old English teacher and Kaji, the 24 year old machinery teacher) sumo-strutted out sporting loincloths and blankets made of porno posters. Then they yelled some stuff about what they dont like and like about the school but in sumo chanting style. I was laughing so hard. They were so drunk and embarrassed. Cant wait to show those pictures to the seniors. Hey, Im on their side, remember? Oh, its amazing how you can tell who has that Asian alcohol enzyme deficiency. Just look around the room and truly 50% of them are bright red.

After the party I didnt want to go to the second party with the teachers so I started walking to Red Hill. I had my car parked at the hotel. I would get it the next day. Then one of the old man teachers latches on to me and starts speaking to me in Japanese since he cant speak English. So, not to be deterred, I brought him with me to Red Hill. It was very strange, I said 'Hey Hisayo, thi sis a teacher from my school, but I dont know his name. He wouldnt give his name to her or to Woody when he arrived. He just kept mumbling in Japanese about how I look like Barbie doll and something about President Bush. You see, not only am I every schoolboy's dream, apparently Im every businessman and schoolteachers dream as well. It's tough being so well loved, I'd rather get back to the schoolboys business, but onto my curse. So whenever I find people my own age in Takayama, Im leaving some party and have to hang out with teachers, or some old buisnessman starts with me. It was cursing in effect that night when I was sitting next to some cute guy and had to smile and nod at the old teacher. However, it must make the hostessing business very easy when conversation rules permit you to say 'yes I see' every 2 minutes or so to complete your end of the conversation. Thats me, the free range hostess of Takayama!

Woody and I tried to take the teacher to a taxi, but he was so drunk and couldnt say where he lived, kept saying he lived in Tokyo. by the way he kept trying to pay Hisayo over and over again for all 3 of our drinks. So Woody and I dragged him to a hotel and he kept trying to hand us like 600$. Woody checked him in, brought him to his room and took off his jacket and shoes, and got out of there really quick before he could follow us. I was slipping all the hell over the ice, it's like driving and walking on a glacier . When I said Ice Levels Suck, I really mean in the video game sense. Then we slipped our way to Red Hill again, where I had forgotten my phone and went off to the Reggae bar Bagus. It was Woody and Hiomo and Hisayo and cute businessman guy who looked like a older version of my cutest student with the slit wrist on the front of my site. Finally, my curse was lifting. And we talked all about video games and demons! Then it got weird when this other guy showed up and knew all about yaoi and said he had yaoi manga(comics), which really tripped me out because it's for women. Of course. Since I live in a yaoi manga right now pretty much in my daily work life, I think I havent bought as many of those comics as I used to. After drinking for about 11 hours straight Hiomo gave me a ride home through the terrible cold and snow.

I was supposed to volunteer for a childrens Christmas party the next day but I overslept because my phone was still set to manner mode. I feel bad, they really wanted a foreigner there. And everyone loves a jolly funny happy foreigner! Well,not that I dont mind spending all day long with delinquent punks in suits and ties, but it would be so quaint and fun to see some cute little kids having a Christmas party, and would have made for some good pictures. Oh, well. In fact Im glad I dont teach at an elementary school since then I'd have to be smiley happy all day long and get climbed all over like a jungle gym. I walked down the hill to Hida Hotel, stopped to get ramen from my father who art in Takayama and dug out my car and bought some art supplies.

I met up with Mark and Machiko at the station and we got Japanese food, then we went to Geo and I bought the Slime game for my GameBoy Advance, and took her home. I worked on my Castlevania costume and went to Red Hill through the white expansive icefield to Red Hill and figured out what to do about my school uniform. I decided to take it back to the shop and swallow my pride.

So in fact the next day I went in for an exchange. This is bizarre, it went something like this <walks in> "Im sorry, this is a little big" " oh, I'll get you the next smaller size" "Im sorry, thank you" "Ok, how is this one" "ok, fine, Im sorry" <lots of bowing, lots of sorries> "something something which school" "Im sorry, I dont speak a lot of Japanese" " This is Takayama" "Ok, I understand that" "Middle School? High School?" "Um, high school?" "which high school?"" <why is he asking me this?? Which high school in Takayama uses this uniform?? > Umm, Hida High School" "Ok, we have a button service!<goes to a drawer and takes out buttons with the school crest on them" "<me-- not sure if this is free and why they didnt give me these in the first place> uhh, thank you, Im sorry." " thank you very much, thank you!" "Thank you , Im sorry Im sorry" BOWING!! SO MUCH BOWING!

By the way, Sunday was my 24th birthday. I met up with Megumi and we went to Sega World and did print club and won things out of the UFO catcher machine. Before that we went to The Forlon and got Chinese food. I was so stuffed. Then we went for karaoke for 2 hours an I dropped her off at home, and then went to rent Battle Royale 2 which was released that day. I had my small birthday party at Red Hill with 2 delicious cakes and we went to karaoke again and sang and sang. Then I went home and watcehd BR2 and even tho there were no subtitles I could tell it wasnt as good at the first one. Maybe more gore and senseless destruction, but it was way too political and there were inconsistencies from the first movie. Anyway, Japan is obsessed with its schoolchildren and obsessed with honorable and beautiful death and obsessed with its schoolchildren killing themselves and eachother. Thats just the way it is.Dont scoff or sneer, look at Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, I wanted to tell you the phrases which were on the collar of my school uniform in English "Always a sexy for a city boy" and " Fashion for young spirit for hot emotion and young passions" and the box says "Stimulative for so sensitive commodities" . Who writes this stuff? And the best part is that most likely no one who would see it would even understand it. I should send in pictures to Engrish.com .

Dismember 16th - He Needs A Snowjob or Hey Laser Lips, Your Mother Was A Snowblower

I was pleased to hear that people learned about Saddam's capture from me first, either from chatting online or from reading my journal. Also, several people noted that they heard abot 9-11 AND Saddam from me. Yes, I'm bringing you the news first, fast.

So this mornign I dragged myself out of bed as usual. Thank goodness for being able to set 3 alarms 5 minutes apart on my cellphone. When I stepped outside I was shocked and dazzled for a moment because there was a blanket of snow covering the ground. Several seconds later I wondered what driving would be like today. Anyway, the land was a winter wonderland and everything looked like a frosted mini-wheat. Driving wasnt a big deal, the roads were clear. In fact because it was about 42 degrees out with the coming day, things were beginning to melt.

Im coming down with a cough. I switched to tea today instead of cocoa. In fact I got to leave after my last calss today to go home and rest. It was nice. Of course I have unlimited sick days, but I havent used any yet, and Id rather not get sick and need to use any. Well, whatever. I rested up.

Class was fun today. We discussed New Year and snowmen and in the junior machinery class I chucked an eraser across the room at 2 wrestling students and hit one of them on the back and left a huge chalk mark. And I yelled SCORE! The looks on everyone's face was lovely. My supervisor said it was a good idea. Next I'll start dumping the trash can over their heads, to be completely animated. Im sick today, I wasnt really feeling the love. I said I would build a snowman at school and one kid said he would break my snowman, and I told him I would break him. Id like to see him try and defeat MY snowman.

I played some Castlevania at home, just stayed in, drank tea, made some tasty boil in the bag 3 cheese and ham pasta sauce for my spaghetti, watched the Two Towers and worked on my new costume. Unfortunately I had a mishap where I punched my scissor through the sheet plastic right into my index finger on my left hand. First I thought I had cut my fingertip off, but I really just sliced it. It took about 10 minutes to stop the blood, but the weirdest thing is that it didnt hurt at all. This made me really think I had severed something important, but no, I still have feeling there. I guess all those hot glue burns over the years made me impermeable. Tomorrow I'll wear a USA bandaid!

I was happy to stay in all day today. Friday I have a big drinking party with all the teachers in the school, called Bon Enkai , which is the holiday party. It's at a fancy hotel in town. My birthday is on Sunday. I'll be 24. I dont know if anything special will happen. I dont feel any older than I did when I was 22. 23 went by really quickly. I also moved twice, to a different state and then to a different country. I guess I was so busy and thats why it went by quickly. Im glad I have the internet, I feel really close to everyone.

Dismember 15th - He Loves Me And I Love You!

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo that is, I showed that South Park episode in class today, and also Jesus vs Satan. How perfect for classes of rowdy teenagers! Even the senior architecture students who throw toilet paper at eachother in class and crush eachother between their thighs in class, dont ask about the logistics. Anyway, Southpark's dialogue consists of interesting racial slurs and saying bitch every 2 minutes. I wonderhow the Japanese subtitling came across. Now I know why my students think that whore and bitch have the same meaning, its because bitch is translated as whore in the subtitle. Anyway, finally classes where no students fall asleep. A singing crap is what they needed! Also some students walked into class spouting profanities at me so thought, "Just you wait".

After school I went to the 100Y store and got some stew in a packet and pasta sauce. I like this boil in the packet idea, then I dont have to clean the pot afterwards. Also when I make food at home it's really cheap!

I went to my Japanese class and we practiced some post-positional particles for location and direction and then went to Gusto for desert. I had a Dragonfruit Island. Gusto is very Denny's-esque. Its open til 5am and for 120Y you can get unlimited beverages. Dragonfruit Island was a frozen dragonfruit shell filled with mango and kiwi and ice cream. It was tasty! However, its freezing out. This was balanced well with hot chocolate. I never thought Id say this but I think Im drinking too much milk in Japan. I always drink milk cocoa.I drink at least 2 drink boxes per weekday. Maybe thats why my skin is oilier? Im not sure. After that I went to a birthday party for me, Noriko, and Hiomo. It was at the English School again. I got 2 birthday presents and theyre both hats. Also I got a ton of random anime pins. I practiced learning dirty Japanese and Dutch tonight. I came home around 1:30am because I had to wait for the champagne I drank to exit my bloodstream because I didnt want to walk down the hill to my car the next morning.

What else, oh yeah,the fall of Saddam and all that. More importantly, I get paid on Friday. right now Im down to my last 50$. I wrote out my budget for the month, and Ill stick to it for the next 4 months until I pay off my credit cards fully. Anyway, this winter is long and I have a lot of video games to play, so it shouldnt be that hard. After bills I'll have about 200$ a week to play around with. Only planning on leaving Takayama once a month.

Half of my house is freezing, and now I must brave it to take a shower. Think warm thoughts for me!

Dismember 14th - Operation Red Dawn

Yes, they caught Saddam. I heard the news around 9pm on Sunday night. I wanted to tell people but no one was awake so I called and woke up my dad. I wouldnt usually call anyone at 7am on a Sunday, but this was important. Tomorrow Im sure Ill hear all about it in the office. I have to answer boldly for the actions of my country!

Im sad, I have a pimple the size of Mt. Fuji I am trying to eradicate. Time for some terraforming. I dotn know why but my chin has been breaking out ever since I got here. But, I havent had a headache in like 3 months.I guess it's an even trade.

Carl visited this weekend from Tokyo. He brought me the new Castlevania for PS2 and theLord of the Rings Two Towers boxed set. What a sweetie! We went to hot springs in Showkawa Village with Woody and Hisayo. When we were driving there was snow, but then we would pass through a tunnel and on the other side of the mountain there would be no snow. It was wild. We got okonomiyaki for dinner and went to Helen of Wales' Christmas party up in Kokufu Village. She has a house big enough to fit 5 Japanese families. It's rediculous. Afterwards, we went home and watched Equilibrium. Oh my god Christian Bale is so hot! Of course we all knew that anyway. But now he's hot in a post apocalyptic fascist cyber future Matrix-y sort of way.

Jawbones and eyebrows! Yes, these are the reasons why Japan is so great!

Today we got Indian food at Gara, walked around some temples and then I made a mad rush to get Carl to the bus station. Then I bought more kerosene and gas for my car. 8$ gets me about 45 miles. That is HORRIBLE. On the other hand, 8$ heats my apartment for 2-3 weeks.

Now it's time for sleep.

Dismember 10th - Welcome To The Winter Of My Discontent

Ok so there wasnt an update when I promised. I aint gettin paid to make this website yo! Sorry, just being belligerant. In fact Im just lazy and unmotivated. BUT SOON IT WILL CHANGE!!!

So tonight I went to a Christmas party for my friends English School in town. Noriko (or Nolico as she spells it) and Eric from Amsterdam have a English school right off the main road Honmachi in Takayama. I brought edamame soybeans and each person brought 1 dish and a drink for themselves. Ive taken such a liking to plum wine called Ume Shu. Its sweet, 14% alcohol and has the plum floating in it. Yes! You can get 8 oz of them at the 100Y store. I will bring them home since its my favorite! My friend Megumi who's a senior at Takayama High School(different school than mine) was there with her dad. Also her brother and his son is my student, Keita Imai, or Imai-kun as we call him at school. Howver, there's an Imai-kun in practically every class, and dont get me started on how 30 out of 40 student in 3rd year Electronics are named Yuuki or Yuki.

Ok, we did a secret santa present game using some sort of math competition.I won a gossip magazine from the US that provided endless entertainment as we took aim at whorish heiress Paris Hilton. Its great to see a magazine in English. <So many white people...all at once...cant....process....>. We practiced English a lot. Also the food was very tasty!

Imai-san(the dad) sent Megumi home at 10pm because she's under 20 and thats like the curfew unofficially in Japan. Then we went to Crystal Snack which if you recall I went to with my coworkers a few months ago, which is a hostess club near red hill and I sang Material girl and my favorite Japanese punk rock song and only Japanese song I know how to sing, Linda Linda (AKA Rinda Rinda). We drank chivas on the rocks and in typical japanese style they ruined it by mixing it down with 8 oz of water. At anyrate, at my 50kg and slight physique can somehow out drink any Japanese person I've ever met. Even when I outdrink the person 2 to 1 I am sober and they are trashed and red faced. Well, theres some kind of fact that half of asians lack an enzyme that allows them to process alcohol properly. So, give some of my friends 1 beer and they cant walk straight. But their English skills are AMAZING! So Imai was very proud of his English and we were chatting and impressing everyone. In fact its a very small pub. I was all about the fresh fruit and sweets they served. But, it is called snack for a reason. Of course, the bill came to over 100$, but since I had established before I went that I only had 10$ with me(since atms arent open past 9pm in Takayama) Of course I didnt have to pay. He would have payed anyway though. Only in Japan can you go drinking with you students parents maybe! Imai even bought my cab ride home. Sure Im like a free range hostess in this town it seems sometimes, but when the winter sets in and the -50 degree weather starts up, you gotta make like a Russian and have a strong spirit!

I got a kerosene heater and a car! My car is a Grey Nissan Avenir . It's about 10 years old. It's a station wagon, yes, but dont you laugh. I can put all my drunk friends and their ski equipment in the car and have room to spare. Also in this town there are many station wagons. This is because no one wants to fall off the side of a mountain when the strong wind blows your car around.

However, some roads are very narrow and I have trouble backing out, parking and turning around, but thats the kind of thing you deal with. This car is really only for driving around town and the region with. I got snow tires put on. And I bought a sign for it that says "Which side is the brake on? Please switch places with me!" Cars in Japan are British style, in reverse. Strangely enough, Ive only been driving for about a week but I feel like Im used to it already. It helped that I hadnt driven in 5 months. Of course I have reflexes to turn right onto the right side of the road, but now I dont actually act on that instinct. You just have to get used to the idea that the left side is the easier side to turn onto. Also my steering wheel is on the right side of the car, the gear shift is to my left, blinker on the right, wiper on the left, left signal is up, right signal is down. Most people are worse drivers than me though. At least thats one thing Im used to!

I think my kerosene heater will do wonders for my electric bill. SO, since Im driving up the hill to my apartment and not hoofing it up. So, I dont have the benefit of my athsmatic wheezing from my weak lungs to warm me up when I get home. This kerosene heater runs partially on electric power, and it only uses 300W, which is 1/4 of my not nearly as effective oil radiatior. I have to fill the kerosene every few days old style with a tank I keep in my house and a hose pump, but 20 liters of kerosene is only 10$ .So, I am reducing my electric bill by about 150$ a month this winter, sure I have to ventilate the fumes every hour, but this thing heats up my living and bedroom to 70 degrees in about 5 minutes.

In other news, my mom and sister visted and left, Lana and her friend Max visited and left, I went to Tokyo and Nagoya many times, and now I will stay in Takayaka more often and pay my bills at home. Making a new costume from the new Castlevania for the next anime conventions. For once I wont have to wear a wig! I intend to fill in the blanks on my journal hiatus, but I thought you could use an update! Enjoy and talk to you soon!

Oh, and putting images up is a huge pain in the ass (mendokusai in Japanese) but I will get around to it I swear. You can always email me and Ill send images. Its just the programming that I never feel like doing!

November 17th - Crashed Potatoes

So, I havent updated in a few weeks because I had a massive computer crash and, while i havent lost any of the site information, I had temporarly lost the will to use my computer. Anyway, update tomorrow, y'all, Im back in action.

*Apology for any typos, Im too tired to proofread, and you know what Im trying to say anyway*

Oct 24th - My Name Must Have Been In The Job Description or Nosebleeds Come With The Territory

I was a bit lonely after Timb left, and over and done with Tokyo for a while, but I must return for the h Naoto fashion show and cosplay party. My 3 day weekend next weekend after my business trip will be so welcome, Im going to stay.in town and also visit hot springs. I started teaching Halloween this week. of course I had been waiting for the excuse to dress up at school, and of course the students kept asking me when I'd do it. My supervisor Matsuda took me to buy some halloween weapons for my Battle Royale costume and fake blood supplies. I didnt get a chance to go to the hardware store like I planned for the wings I wanted to make. I did eventually though. I bought wire and sheet plastic and colored tape and wire. I love how I can buy materials here that I could never find in the US. That sheet plastic would have been a lifesaver on so many commissions.

Also, Hisayo added hot apple cider with apple schnapps to the menu at Red Hill. I gave her the recipe. So tasty!

So, on wednesday I started bringing costumes to school. First I wore my Rei Ayanami latex plugsuit. I was aiming to wear all costumes that Ive made myself. Anyway, I bet you cant wait til I put the pictures up! Well, this weekend my dears! Im actually staying in Takayama. Anyway, you can imagine I must be every Japanese schoolboy's dream. So, to teach about halloween, my lesson includes 'The Monster Mash' Misfits punk rock version, teaching the 'trick or treat, smell my feet' song, some monsters names, making fake blood, and sound effects. Of course the boys who clean the office, which I have to supervise were in my first set of classes. Now, usually when a student takes a picture with me , I throw my arms around him and, yadda yadda, he turns red, the class laughs, but the most hilarious thing happened. So when I was dressed like Rei I did that to one boy, but he screamed and ran out of the room. Geez! I knew they werent too interested in members of the female species, thats out of hand tho. Haha, he was in such shock. Im totally tearing into the young Japanese male mind here. I swear sometimes I must be living in a cartoon. One of my cleaning boys asked if he could dress like a schoolgirl for Halloween. Gotta keep an eye on those kinky bastards.

I got my Battle Royale collar in the mail. Its metal and has a red LED light just like the movie's collar. I planned on wearing my school's uniform. Anyway, I wasnt ready yet. On to Thursday. I wore my red vinyl kimono and a red spiky wig and cat ears. I wonder if my costume wearing was already approaching normality in class. Still, people were in "whats Dawn going to wear today?" mode. Amazing what I can get away with. Amazing I get paid for this. I cant wait to put my pictures up. It's pretty heavy to carry my costume in my backpack on my bike, and tiring to change when I get to school, but thats dedication for you! The girls being japanese schoolgirls would scream and squeal and go nuts when they saw me.

On to Friday. I wore my schools uniform and experienced the gender based terror which is having to wear a skirt in cold weather. What kind of sadistic perverted society is this, the girls uniforms dont have a pants option for the winter. Anyway, I wore my hair in pigtails, bandaged myself up with fake blood I made wore my battle royale collar, stuck my cellphone in my pocket, oh and wore the loose socks my supervisor gave me. Wow, this costume caused the biggest stir. It was so totally awesome to wear the school's uniform and see those reactions. It was like "Who's that hot battle damaged tranfer student?" Oh, my weapons! I got a harisen, which is this large fan thats used to beat people over the head and cause a loud noise, and a plush swirly poop on a stick. The swirly poop is a corner stone of Japanese culture. Oh, the girls even taught me how to be naughty and roll my skirt up at the waist band.

I was walking through the hall and I heard a student ask the vice principle who dyed their hair? No, that girl is Dawn-sensei. EHHHHHHHH?????? My supervisor said she was jealous that I could bond with the students in such a way. Oh, one of the most hilarious things happened. Well, as usual a student was sleeping during my lesson. Usually its 4 or 5 students. Anyway, I was in the fake blood portion of the lesson. I asked who wanted some fake blood, and so everyone looked at this sleeping kid. So, I walked up and looked at the 2 teachers...hmm, nothing stopping me. I put a line of fake blood on his hand with my butter knife. Didnt wake up. I started dripping it on his cheek. Didnt wake up. So then, everyone started yelling and laughing at him. He wakes up and sees his hand. He thought he had a bloody nose, starts wiping at his nose. Nono! Its on your cheek! He gets really confused, starts pawing at his ears. Tastes the 'blood' ....it's sweet, what the hell? Meanwhile can you imagine how traumatic this is with everyone including the teachers laughing at him while he's mysteriously bleeding? I said' Thats what you get for sleeping in MY class!'not that anyone can understand me anyway. Still, I amuse myself.

After school I got my bag out of the bus station locker and went to Tokyo. Again. I had a really good weekend and won the favore of H Naoto once again, but for now it's bed time. So, more to follow!

Oct 21st - Who Are All These Beautiful Illiterates, And What Are They Doing In My Country?

On friday the 10th I went to Tokyo along with Clare, right after work. I cant imagine what my students must think, that they see me on the bus to Shinjuku every week pretty much. In fact I've O.D'ed on going to Tokyo, but I have to go for 3 weeks in a row. And then, I'll take a break from it until the end of November. So, I got a call from Carl while I was on the bus, and it turns out the boat wouldnt be leaving until Monday morning(he's a man of the sea, in the Navy). I stay at his apartment in Tokyo on my frequent journeys, in fact its saving me a lot of money, but that 90 minutes to get to his place from Shinjuku is quite tedious. Anyway, Carl came to meet me at the bus station and we went back to Yokosuka. He was gone for work in the morning so I travelled to Narita Airport which is on the complete opposite side of Tokyo from Yokosuka. I took an express Keikyu train to Shinagawa, to Nippori on the Yamanote line, then an airport express train on the Keisei Line, and it still took me 3 hours. Anyway, It appeared that Timb's plane arrived 1 hour early, so in fact he exited right on time from the harrowing customs and immigration and baggage wait. Right away we decided not to send the baggage to Takayama, which was a mistake, but we did it at the hotel later. We took the express train back to Nippori, and then to Ikebukuro to the Hotel Theater which I couldnt find but usung my mad Japanese skills I figured out. Ikebukuro is underrated. Its a really cool place, with lots of youth culture and arcades. We were lugging lots of Timb's luggage so we really couldnt relax until we found the hotel. After relacing for a bit we went out to Takadanobaba and I bought jrock tickets for the next week and we got some cheap Udon noodle soup under the train tracks. Well, it wasnt the Japanese splendor of food but it was tasty. Then we went to Harajuku for a bit, but everything was closing, and then back to Ikebukuro. I love being able to find my way around now. We met up with Carl the next day and went back to Harajuku for Sunday's festivities, and then went to Shinjuku to the OIOne building which is very dangerous because it is the gothic and cyber 10 floor department store. Carl spent over $1000. I was pretty encouraging tho! I got a jacket with huge zippers on it, and a hat thats sort of squid-like. We got out while we still could, oh, and we found an excellent fabric store, and I bought a bunch of monster fur in different colors.

We went back to Carl's place after that and got Coco's curry. I wimp out and cry with the level 1, but timb had the level 3 and didnt bat an eye. I watched Boondock Saints with Carl while Timb slipped into a jetlag coma next to me. I stayed up late chatting with Carl since he had to go to the ship at 6am the next day. Timb and I went to Shibuya on monday . Under the station there is this amazing baked goods section which smells like heaven. We caught some fresh breads and pastries. Then we went to the 109 shopping building and went to the top floor and got some sort of Pacific cuisine. We got stared at a lot everywhere, and Timb kept bumping his head on everything.

We found Love Hotel Hill in Shibuya and stayed at this one for 3 hours with blacklights and a starscape and a jacuzzi with shifting colored lights. It was really great. We did get locked in tho, until I fed the machine more money. Before that we went to an adult shop where they sold used schoolgirls panties and underwear, and the most amusing thing was watching this one businessman on the closed circuit tv browsing for just the right one. Also, I saw the hotel C'est La Vie, which is in Tokyo Pop.

At some point we went to Tokyo station to the Imperial Palace, but it was rainy out and I was in a bad mood, and you cant get close to the palace at all. But, the gardens are nice, and the land is all open and green, right in the middle of a skyscraper district. The land costs as much as a dozen countries.

On Tuesday we went to the food market department store below Shinjuku station and bought pastries and food for the bus ride home. Tokyo was getting on my nerves, I go ther etoo often, and I was so tired of riding trains everywhere. It was a relief to return to Takayama. It was nice to ride in the bus next to Timb. We arrived around 8 and since it was raining the whole time we didnt have a view of the mountains. We took at taxi up the hill to my humble abode and then went back down the hill to Red Hill Pub so I could show Timb off. We met up with some other jets and went to Murasaki for parfaits and drinks and then to karaoke. Its the Takayama shuffle. I test drove a station wagon the next day and Im planning to buy it. It handled really well, and even though it was strange driving on the opposite side of the car and the road(british style) I got adjusted pretty quick, probably because I havent driven anything in 3 months. When I got back home, Timb and I went to Hida no Sato, which is a re created oldstyle village . We went with Hisayo of Red Hill fame. Afterwards, we met up with Woody and his girlfriend for sushi and it was amazingly displayed. We also had a sake sampler and there was this one kind which was sweet like a wine. I must buy it!

We did karaoke again that night with mostly Japanese people and they kept requesting that Timb sing songs. He was really tired. I sang Hot For Teacher with him, thats my theme song now.

The next day Hisayo and Hiomo picked us up and we went to Shirahone Onsen, which means white bone hot springs. We went way way way up into the mountains and the leaves are changing color and its breathtaking. From the side of the road you could see pockets of steam where hot spring were poking through, Hisayo and I split up from Timb and Hiomo and went to the womens section of the rotenburo, which is the outdoor hot springs. The water was a pure white from the sulfur and so hot and wonderful. We were nude on the side of the river with the leaves changing. It was about 50 degrees out, but once you warm up in the hot spring, sitting on the outside of the spring is like nothing. There was a bamboo screen separating us from the mens side. We could see Timb and Hiomo were clad in towels and climbing like a couple of monkeys down to the freezing ass river. We got out of the hot springs and got dressed and I was so warm for an hour afterwards. I want to go to onsen every week! We got some coffee, and then went to a restaurant and got some soup and noodles and then returned to Takayama. Timb and I then went shopping and searching for my students so I could show them off and display how they can say 'whats up?' but they were nowhere to be found. In fact finally we passed some but timb had stopped to fix his shoe or something, so he totally missed the exchange. I met Machiko and Mark(who's the regional prefectural advisor, quite a title) and we went to Murasaki for food and drinks and thent o the print club shop and we tried our luck at pachinko. I spent a whole 200Y before I decided that pachinko is useless. Went back to Red Hill again and got some rum cocoa and went back home. Oh, Timb had his experience with the delicious local Hida Beef. I cant explain, you'll have to try it yourself.

We went back to Tokyo the next morning, I was sorry we had to leave Takayama so soon because I didnt get to do half the things I wanted to there. Theres always next time. Finally got an awesome view of the mountains. Timb was especially entranced by Suwako Service Area's lakeside city, which I never actually saw in the daytime before. I guess Im starting to take things for granted? Anyway, I never noticed all the dams, unless we took a different route, since the day time bus is a different bus company than I usually use.

We got into Tokyo at 2, went to Carl's to change and drop off his luggage, then straight back to Tokyo to catch the visual rock show. There were about 8 bands with such gorgeous visual rock stars, and also punk and alternative bands, and I swear Kurt Cobain never died, he just moved to Japan and turned Japanese. We got some more curry when we went home, I stuck with the 1 and timb upgraded to a level 4. Still not enough for him. Hes got nerves of steel. We watched a DVD called the Cremaster, which is a performance art series and I really love the art and costumes! I recommend it so highly. The artist is famous for having a demolition derby in the Chrysler Building.

The next day we went to Shibuya to meet my friend Yuki and we got some Yoshinoya fast food beef bowl. Timb challenged his Western pallete by mixing a raw egg into his rice, well, I did too. We went for print club, and to the Bic Camera to check out all the latest gadgets, and then I met my friend Masa outside of the 109 building and we said goodbye to Yuki and we saw Freddy vs Jason finally. It came out 2 months late, but at least I saw it. Of course I cheered for Freddy. The Japanese subtitles were in a spooky font, but I know they didnt translate all the cultural jokes and puns because Timb and I were the only ones laughing. Then, Masa took us for Thai food and I had an amazing fried fish in a sweet and spicy sauce, which now I am constantly craving. Masa had to go to work, but he recommended we go to Yokohama to sightsee. First I stopped by Akihabara,but everything was closing. I wanted to buy some PS2 games. Akihabara is the electric town, with all the major cutting edge electronics stores, but everything closes at 8. Anyway, we went to Yokohama, but we couldnt find our way down to the downtown from the station so we left and went back to Carl's apartment. We watched a depressing movie called Far From Heaven, which is about how a perfect 50's couple's life goes terribly wrong when the husband turns out to be gay and the wife falls in love with her black gardener. Anyway, it was a tragedy. I put on Ghostbusters to get into a better mood.

The next day we left early to bring Timb to the airport, but it wasnt early enough. We went to Yokohama to catch a direct train to Narita airport, but if I had gone to the airport, I would have missed my bus back to Takayama. So, I had to see Timb off at the train platform. It was sad, I was robbed of my last 3 hours with him by that silent slow devil known as time. Its a bitch that in order to get from Yokosuka, to Narita and then to Shinjuku it would have taken 5 hours by train. Imagine, since If I take a bus for 5 hours I can get clear from Tokyo to Takayama. We kissed eachother goodbye on the platform as the train pulled up, it was very romantic. I was feeling pretty depressed and so I went to Shinjuku to put my totebag in a locker and then over to Harajuku for some lunch. I just wasnt feeling it though. It was sunday, but now there are so many foreign tourists in Harajuku I feel really annoyed. Yes, I know Im a foreigner, but Im in the same subculture therefore I belong there. I walked down Takeshita Dori and got some lunch in an Italian place. I was seriously really in a bad mood. I guess my grimace and rebellious air lent me the facade of a local...which I am techically. I went back to Shinjuku early and got on the bus. Tokyo really stresses me out. I wish I had planned more romantic days with Timb in Takayama. Im sick of riding trains and rushing around. I just need a break from it, but I have to go again this weekend for the h Naoto fashion show. Anyway, Im glad Timb came to Japan. I really missed him and I cant wait to see him again. He could totally be a model here. Next time he comes we'll both work on being discovered.

When I arrived back in Takayama I walked straight to Red Hill and doodled a bit and had a rum cocoa and chatted with Hiomo and Hisayo. Then I went home, back to my exciting life. I was kind of looking forward to teaching again and kind of dreading it.

Speaking of which, I need to get to bed. I have 3 Halloween lessons tomorrow and I'll type to you tomorrow about the week so far and my Halloween wackiness!

Oct 10th- I Never Thought It Would Come To This, Now I Can Never Go Home

Takayama Festival was last night, so I went home and got all punked out and Hisayo picked me up and we drove down to the major shrine by the river. There were festival floats lined up down the street because the parade wouldnt start until after it got dark. We went to the food vendors next to the river. I saw so many of my students there, and I was so happy because they could finall see me dressed normal and I gained a bunch of cool points.
I really dont want them to think of me as a teacher but rather as a cool foreigner who just happens to have this charade of standing inf ront of them once a week and teaching some useless grammar point. Well, I could give a damn about the grammar point also. So anyway, back to the festival.
I know Takayama is such a tourist city, but actually having the main road cordoned off and filled with tourists so you can move really annoyed me. Even though Ive only been here for 2 months I feel like its my home. Anyway, so many locals dont go to this festival. I mean, I have been to Kyoto and the Gion festival, so Ive seen festival carts before. These were smaller and more beautiful however. Still, I enjoyed walking up and down the seemingly endless food vendor stalls next to the river. An amazing thing happened. All the Japanese people which are my age were all out. Where do they go all year? Maybe they melt back into Tokyo or Nagoya. And theyre all so damned good looking. Of course, theyre all gangsta rappers in this town, but personal image and genre designation isnt the same in Japan. A sailor uniformed schoolgirl with her friends came up and told me all about how she loves visual rock and the gothic designers while her friends were so confused. Wow, I cant tell you how great it was that my students were there! Yay, Im not an old fart to them! It was fun to see how many schoolkids there were while I was walking with other JET english teachers and point out which ones were ours, and I could demonstrate how I taught mine :whats up?: Its so surreal to be walking down this crowded street and its all british uniforms and sailor uniforms and Japanese military uniforms and everyone has such perfect spikey hair.
How can I ever live in the US again, what would I do? So, In 2 months I made it to the cover of a magazine. I can stand out naturally, and even more with my mad skillz. I feel like every year of my life, every stitch I sewed for my costumes, everytime I embarrassed myself but loved it when Id dress like a freak in public, well, I feel like Ive been training to be here. Its about risk, its about popularity, its about giving people what they want to see when they go to this place, its about being myself for a moment when I dont have the words to communicate. Well, here as in my double life in the city, but I guess all the spiritual training to reincarnate myself as a 17 year old Japanese schoolboy for the past 5 years really paid off as well. Either that or I was one in a past life, or in a universe parallel to our own, anyway, maybe thats why I find my day job so endlessly amusing.
Let's recount some funny things of the week.
Let's...its something youll always say when you come here, since Japan uses a group mentality and everything is Let's, Let' s skiing, Let's English.
I got copies of the Japanzine in the mail at school, In fact its not an article about me, but at the club in Osaka. Anyway, my pictures are the only ones on there. I was so happy to give the magazines to my classes. Some students think Im a pop idol, or that Im famous all over the world, (ok, I dont know why Id be teaching english to their slacker asses if that were the case) anyway, some students wanted pictures with me in case I gt famous soon. Well, i think its such a possibility. I mean, I love to aim for the stars and think big, but honestly its going really better than I thought.
I made my Battle Royale lesson plan, with a cute drawing of a Kougyou student holding 2 automatic weapons. I glued little pictures of weapons to each sheet . Im not in favor of games in the classroom, but we were reviewing and violence is the way to go. Also, its not like in the US where the student would actually bring a weapon to school. I love telling the teachers that in the US you can own a gun and drive a car when youre 16. I had to hand back some signature sheets to my favorite class, which is 3M. Oh, so one of my favorite students is Tomochika or something like that. He's the naughty smiley one with the dirty mouth and the cute face. He was correcting my pronounciaion of his name to be Tomochinko, which means Tomopenis. I was like, you dont think I know what that means? Then I used some Japanese slang I picked up which I hope complimented him and encouraged him all the more, because Im on their side when they wanna learn nasty language.
Ok, how many 18 year olds in the US really ask people to insert genetalia slang into their names? god bless japan.
I ordered a Battle Royale collar from some art students in the US, it lights up with a LED light, so that should be great for my school uniform day halloween lesson cosplay.
Whats happening on the home front? I cleaned my room! Timb is visiting this week. Well be in Tokyo for 4 days, then back to Takayama, and then back to Tokyo again. In fact I must leave now! So I'll talk to y'all soon.

October 4th - Ka, Ki, Ko, Kore, Kare, Kara, Kirai, Karai, Kirei, Kowai, Kawaii, Kakkoii (Mosquito, Tree, Round Object, This, Curry, From/To, Hate, Spicy, Pretty, Scary, Cute, Cool)

Well, a continuous entry from the previous, I just procrastinated updating the journal too many extra days when there was so much to write about. Also, I'd like to say that Im fully justified ( by my standards and by my supervisor's) for encouraging my students to use swear words and encouraging them to use English, any English they want to speak. Let's face it, theyre in a technical high school. Theyre studying to be mechanics and electricians. English isn't going to be a big part of their lives. Unlike the US, in Japan if you merit placement in a technical high school, there's no great dream that you could be the next Einstein or whatever. Your academic career determines your rank in Japanese society for the rest of your life. This type of school is listed on my Jet manual under 'non-acedemic/vocational/ agricultural schools'. Its not an easy situation to teach under. When I tell people I work at a Kogyou school, I get some pretty sympathetic looks. Most teaching happens outside of class. So, perhaps the only English they enjoy is the English in their music. Plus, I was picked for this school. They picked a costume designing video game artist. Why do we even teach English in the curriculum at school? Because the government tells us to. Personally Im so sick of the curriculum. Music comprehension time is coming up. Im not censoring the profanities. I get free reign over the classes, more or less. After mid term, its Halloween week. No more is/was. We're learning culture and more culture. I'm wearing costumes to class and talking about toilet papering, egging, shaving creaming, and the Trick or Treat, smell my feet song. We're also going to learn superstitions. And slang, lots of slang.

And come on, you know that when you learned another language in school, you wanted to know all the dirty words too.

Sports Day was so excellent. It was worth the sunburn I got on my face. It was more like relay games than sports. This is perhaps why, when they ask what sport I like the best and I say 'swimming', its considered a valid sport. I think any activity where you detatch yourself from a video game is considered a sport. For example, ping pong is sport it Japan.

There were 5 teams, consisting of the 5 majors. So, each team was about 100-120 students. These were divided into the 3 grade levels. Ichi- Ni- and San- Nensei(10th, 11th, 12th grade). Theyre color coded in the pictures that I'll upload. Not all students participated in every game at the same time, of course. Usually it was per grade level. There were 16 games in all , relay races, cross country running(they ran up and down a mountain and came back like 2 hours later) tug o war, wheelbarrow races, carry the guy on a wooden pole, carry the guy on the shoulders of 3 running people while he holds a flag, the most ultra violent game ever, Takayama no Hana, Takayama's Flower. I think its named for the flowers of rage and blood that emerge from the participants. Its just so insane I have to explain. So, there are 5 logs in the middle of the field and 2 teams line up on either side. They fire the starting gun and the two teams run at eachother and gang up and struggle to capture the log and pull it over to their side. No punching or kicking, so there are many referrees to pull the offenders out of the melee.

Since I was unofficially part of the Machinery team, I was so happy they won almost every game. The rivalry between the Machinery and the Electronics students was so fierce. Still, M team won the games with a score of 70, E with a score around 50, Computers(N) and Architecture(T) somewhere in the middle, and my poor sweet Interior(I) design students at 20. They were pretty much last in everything. At least they had good humor about sucking so bad. I was wandering around the field getting pictures from all angles. I saw many alumni who were all homey g gangstas. Also there were many parents and grandparents. It was packed and it was a family event. Of course, the music selection being what it was, lucky they were that I was the only one to understand all the very nasty Limp Bizkit fuckity fuck fuck lyrics. If only all those grandmothers knew...well, anyway, God Bless Japan, Ignorance is Bliss.

Some girls from the non-academic high school skipped out to watch my school's sports day, so my supervisor sent me to take their pictures so they could be caught. How awkward. Anyway, I pulled a classic walking up to them and saying ' Ooooh, pretty, can I take your picture?' but they saw through my charade. They were caught anyway, though. After lunch I had to judge the cheering competition. The seniors were all dressed in some pseudo-military uniforms like soemthing out of an anime. I thought they were great as schoolboys, but this took the cake. It was some sort of kamikaze pilot/volunteer firefighter/biker gang uniform. They were color coded with arm bands like civil servants wear in Japan. I thought of the black clad electronics students as my little fascists. The cheers were very strick and hardcore like military drills. Even though I'd been watching them practice for a few weeks, I guess the impact of the performance as a whole was so striking. I was so biased towards the M students tho, but I was fair. I wish I could have video taped it, or taken pictures during the cheers. T had a wooden frame with paper stretched over it and big inked calligraphic paintings, then about 12 people busted through the paper and they rolled fresh paper in front with more calligraphy. It was amazing.

Well, of course M won the cheering contest, and T's mascot painting of a phoenix won the mascot contest. After the awards were given out I wandered around and took pictures. M was hunting down their teachers and tossing them up in the air. I was jealous. Luckily I heard them whispering 'Dawn-chan' and looking my way. I quickly took my electronic dictionary and camera out of my pockets. It was so great! I got tossed up in the air like 10 feet or something. These are the moments I live for. Its like schoolboy propelled vertical flight. I was taking more pictures and that M student which I think is one of my fav's is sitting on someone's shoulders grabbing his nips, which are exposed because of his gang uniform. I yell 'Its a titty bit nipply!' He yells 'I just wanna fuck you!' so I complete the lyric 'Like an animal!' everyone cheered, what a cool sensei they have. Considering the hard time my predecessor had, I guess theyre lucky Im one of the guys.

I left wishing everyday was sports day. I got a nasty sunburn, but it was worth it...pictures coming soon.

On Saturday I went on a tour with Nakayama Chugakko, a higher level middle school. About 20 english teachers volunteered and 3 boys and 3 girls gave us an english tour around Takayama each. There were about 200 students participating. It was great to watch the boys get nosebleeds when they saw I was their own foreigner. Ooooh, Im so full of myself. Anyway, we went off to the morning market near the river, which I can never appreciate because I work on weekdays. I bought the kids dango, which are glutenous rice balls on sticks flavored with soysauce and then grilled. We made rice cakes at a factory and got graded. I guess mine were average. then we went to the old streets and they bought me this delicious cherry blossom scented incense. After that, we went to the Jinya, or old courthouse building. I saw my friend Hiro there who I call Hirogohan, which is a pun about lunch. He's a rickshaw puller. We were talking in English and the kids were so impressed and asked if he was really Japanese. I watched Jackie Chan's Tuxedo which was sub-par. Then I went to return it and went shopping a bit and felt what I thought was an earthquake when I saw some books rattling. This was ocnfirmed because there wa a defnite earthquake at around 1am when I was at the pub Murasaki with many other JETs. It felt like drove by the building I was in. While I was at the pub I met some alumni from my school. One of the guys yelled 'Fuck me!' I was like, ok, now I know theyre Kougyou. Haha, thats so great.

On sunday I went to a shinto wedding, It was so beautiful, at a shrine and then we got coffee and I felt like I was at the top of the world. Then we got Coco's curry and went to the reception. Oh, the wedding was for Hisayo's (the owner of Red Hull pub) sister. The bride and groom changed costumes like 5 times, even having a Christian wedding dress and a ballgown in addition to all the kimonos. There were dragon dancers, shamisen players, a 10 feet tall cake, and lots of seafood. Koroke man was there! He introduced me to all of his old man friends and I was like a free range hostess. The funny thing is that I can drink everyone under the table. I can drink 3 cups of sake for every 1. I ate lots of food. I think I drank 30 cups of sake. I went to another JET's house after turning down the offer of many drunk business men to head to some bar.

Looking back maybe I should have gone with them since I could have probably booked quite a few language classes and maybe even gotten a car out of it. haha..

We watched Good Morning Vietnam and played Streetfighter. Then I went home around midnight and procrastinated writing this journal again. Well, now Im caught up!

October 2nd - "This time, Dr. Jones, I have you right where I want you!" --Elder Gelder

Oh man, there is so much to type about. The past week has been amazing and rediculous. I wanna start from now, and work back, but I guess I should start at monday or whatever. Anyway, earlier in the week. So, as far as school goes, Im sick of my boring lessons but I have to follow the curriculum. I'd rather the teachers teach them grammar in the other classes and I could just teach them about culture. I'll see what I can do. At least I can be cool outside of class. So, the classes have been cut short and the practicing for Sports Day is at a fever pitch. I've been watching Machine Course's cheers most of all, they won last year and I only started watching them because my supervisor had to. Anyway, I felt like I was biased towards their team. But I also felt like I was a part of it too. I felt bad so I walked around to the other teams practices also, but M team was the best. Also one of my favorite students is on it. I dont know his name actually, he acts like the others in class, like a nut, but he'll speak in English to me and he's like the leader of the senior M students. And he's super funny too. When I had the class practice their signatures, he walked up and was like 'Dawn sensei, how is mine?' Little things like when students want to talk to me about something Im teaching them, even tho Im not a teacher, anyway. Its the little things. He's always cute and smiles at me too, feeds my ego, I was never so popular in High School. After the main rehearsal on the field on Wednesday the hilarity ensued. It must have been practice your horrible English day. So, I was hanging around the senior machine students on the field before lunch started and then it began: "What does 'I just wanna fuck you' mean?" Oh so innocent from my little cutie future mafia members. Well, I dont play the embarrassment game so I tried to translate with my feeble Japanese 'sekusu shimasho?'. Lots of ohhhh, Then it was like a chorus of 'I just wanna fuck you!' I threw my hands up to the sky and shouted, 'I'm so lucky!' Then an interesting melange of useful but not schoolworthy English that everyone's learned at school in America by the time theyre 12. At any rate, its not my job to discipline students, and could things be halfway so amusing for this journal if I did? Sure, I wasnt hired by the Japanese government to teach their precious youth how to swear properly, I was hired to give them the opinion that foreigners can be their friends.

By the way, I did a kickin rendition of 'Baby Got Back' in their class previously. I think my supervisor asphyxiated from laughter.

The proceeded to play their rap music out of their cellphones and I translated as best as I could, from the p- word to the n- word and the fact that weed and marijuana are the same thing. Oh, they learn it all from music, make no mistake. Anyway, Im all for teaching them useful english, and my supervisor did say I can flirt with them and swear in class. Still, its hard to believe theyre 18 for all the tough talk. Ahh, the innocence of the communication barrier.

I memorized how to say 'after school' and 'when's your curfew?' in Japanese, cant wait to use that. Like learning any swearing in a foreign language , its so fun to be reckless. My Japanese slang book is pretty bad too, some of the students' favorites out of it are 'Are you on the pill?' and the word for whore. Well, since theyre hip hop fans, I taught them to say 'Ho instead. Interestingly, theyre excited about grammar when it comes to if it's 'doing sex' or 'having sex' .

Lets see, major drama with the boy I said I loved by I couldnt marry to in Japanese last week. So, he copied my example for his weekend plans off the board word for word, so I went back to the board and changed my sentences so that it said 'with Yuuki' in Japanese. Like, 'I will sleep late with Yuuki. I will work on a costume with Yuuki'. He's one of those guys thats so tough and good looking and knows it, and just when you think youre beyond caring about such things, then the drama begins. Well, I could handle that. So, the little posse was hanging out by the drink machine by the office and I hear 'He is your boyfriend!' Yuuki (by the way, 1/3 of the class is named Yuuki) saunters up and goes 'Oh My Dawn!' So I say 'Oh, My Yuuki!' Then its WOOOOOOO!! Namae Oboete!(she remembers your name!) So, Mr tough guy was arm wrestling later when he got kancho'ed. Kancho is this very Japanese prank that boys do where they shove their fingers up someones butt. Kancho is Japanese